My Teen Pregnancy: Week 9 Review (IT SUCKED)

This week sucked. My brother is moving in. Which means my electronics will get hocked, my jewelry will go missing, and my games will disappear. Not only that, but the yelling is CONSTANT. He's always pissed off about something. He uses ALL our money, and my mom doesn't say a thing. Oh, it doesn't matter if we can't pay the insurance, my brother needed meth. I see why Abel, his son, should live with us, but why him, too? He doesn't even take care of my nephew, his mom always does. When she actually does, I should say. But why does my brother have to stay with us? He damned himself to living on the streets. My nephew is only a child, a toddler. I can take care of my nephew. I cannot take care of of my brother.
There is a program that can help me though. If I move in with my best friend, Megan(I'll say her name because I know she doesn't care.), S.T.E.P.S can help pay for my living fees. It's a safe house. It's mellow. It's quiet. I'll be sleeping on the couch, but at least it's more comfortable than the futon I have now.
I wish I could move in with Tony, but I don't think it would work. Even when he moves in with his mom. I hate her. Seriously. She lies about important things, she doesn't know a DAMN THING about child safety.("Keep taking your Paxil, it won't harm. At all." Real quote.) She's....she's just.....stupid. I know that's a teenager thing to say, but that's the only way to describe her. I had to explain to her how dangerous Paxil is for unborn babies. She didn't believe me, so I got my mom to tell her how I have a heart defect from her taking Paxil. I guess I shouldn't bash her. I mean, it's not like it's her fault she's a fucktard that won't even buy her son proper clothes. Or food. Of course, his two sister get whatever the fuck they want while Tony is walking around in rags with his ribs sticking out, nearly crippled with hunger pains. I supply his breakfast and lunch everyday. I had to lie to my grandma and tell her all the food was mine, when really most of it is for Tony.
Okay, on to the symptoms. While my nausea has been calming down, I do get really bad back aches. My hips also hurt really bad. I can feel my skin stretching over my belly. It actually hurts. It's already awkward to sit down. The hormones. Oh, God. The hormones. There's this girl at school, okay? She wants Tony. Like really wants him. She would not leave his side today. I've never liked her, she rude. And I don't mind girls being friendly with Tony. But when you act and talk like he's your boyfriend, it's not okay with me. I've never been jealous before. But you gotta think. I'm getting big, hairy, and cranky. She's skinny, cute, not pregnant, and always cheerful. I know Tony wouldn't cheat on me. He just blows her off. I trust him a lot. I know he won't cheat on me with her, but it seems like I still want to prove myself to be more, which I am. She only wants him because she overheard a me say that he's....gifted. She doesn't want him for him. She doesn't want to be around him when he's sweaty, or dirty, or mad, or upset. So today, she went to find "her Rexxy Sexy." I told her I didn't know she had a Rex, and she said, "Oh, it's Tony." So I, still being friendly and pretending I don't care, went with her. She went up to him, went to hug him, and I don't know what got into me, I didn't even really care that much, but I shoved her out of the way and started kissing him. Like REALLy kissing him. She left. Almost immediately. I went back in the Art Room, where she was, and she said I had a bit of his saliva on my upper lip, and I said "Yeah, not your upper lip, what does that tell you?" I didn't even know what got into me. Usually I'm not like this. Plenty of girls hug Tony, but NOT like she does. Not in a romantic way. And they all respect that we are in a serious relationship. I've never been like this before. And I completely trust him. It's not that I'm worried he'll leave me for her, I guess I just wanted to make it clear that he's MINE. No one in that school has ever seen me mad, so of course, they were all completely shocked. But even they thought she was going to far, so maybe it's not all hormones?
Anyway, I'm sure I bored you to death there, but it's nice to get what irks me down. I have four pictures today. So, yeah. Not really sure how to close this blog post. Here's a picture of....nothing. I'm too lazy to upload a funny picture. Here's my bump.
ALSO: I want all of you to know that if I do not find a safe, stable environment for my baby, I hate to say this, but I will not hesitate(maybe just a little, I'll cry a lot) to give my baby to a family who wants and can care for a baby. A family that can give my baby what they need. I want all of you to know that my baby comes FIRST. I'd miss her, of course, but I'd rather miss her than have some tweeker put her in the microwave or something. I don't doubt I can find a stable home, though. I have many safe places to go, this is only last resort.Have a wonderful week, trust me, it's better to stay positive.